Bill Ferguson's Relationship Seminars

Common Core Issues

You can have love in every relationship and in every aspect of life.

Look over the following list of common core issues.

If possible, have someone read the words to you. Hearing an issue is much more reactivating than reading one. Listen to each word as though it accurately describes you. Notice which words are the most painful.

Also, pay particular attention to any characteristics that you deny having. You wouldn't need to deny it unless you were avoiding it.

While you are going over the list, remember that you are not looking for the truth. You are looking for the hurt. In other words, don’t look to see if you are this way. You're not. Notice if it would be painful if you were.

The more painful the words, or the more you want to deny them, the closer you are to the hurt. For most people, the bottom line hurt is worthless.

Look over the following list of common core issues and find the words that hurt the most.

How do you feel at the notion that these characteristics accurately describe you?

unlovable
undesirable
not worth loving
not worth respecting
worthless
have no value
have deficit value
no good
not good enough
not good enough to be loved
don't measure up
inadequate
inferior
insufficient
less than
useless
a nothing
insignificant
unimportant
don't count
don't matter
disposable
a throw-away
a nobody
a loser
a failure
an underachiever
can't cut it
don't have what it takes

incompetent
screwed up
something is wrong with you
can't do anything right
stupid
unstable
defective
not acceptable
weak
helpless
a wimp
a coward
irresponsible
unreliable
lazy
self-centered
inconsiderate
selfish
dishonest
bad
wrong
evil
repulsive
heartless
a horrible person
ugly
fat
a slut
just like your parents

Notice that some of these words are painful and some aren't. Find the words that hurt the most.

Return to Find Your Inner Core Issues.

Whenever a relationship isn't working, there is an underlying condition of resisting or hanging on.
This condition creates a state of fear, upset and tunnel vision that forces us to fight, resist,
hang on or withdraw. This in turn destroys love and sabotages the relationship.
Until this underlying condition is resolved, nothing will change.